hours and hours of sitting
today i am a walking zombie – no oomph – no humour – empty box
meetings do that to me
They demand extra attention, extra concern and patience to wade through the comments of those who are more attentive to the cheese, bread and olives arranged on the long central table.
One more comment, one more pass the cookies, one more who brought this cake?
One more student who isn’t mine – one more hour till the next meeting
Some people must enjoy these things – I’m sure!
olives and cookies! sitting and talking! yay!
but not me
i’m a flat line in 3D
In Now Therapy, one requires a few advisors, the confidence to confide in them, and then, when the news isn’t so good, a good friend.
Woof was born yesterday and although Woof may grow a tail and some paws, the germ of comfort is there.
I’m looking forward to future now therapy sessions with this ally in disguise.
And by way of association, if no dog is present in one’s life, one misses that delicious joy of unconditional positive affirmation when one comes home, shows up or in any way indicates that food might be part of the near future experience.
One needs delicious joy.
What a marvelous Passover break!
The gift of time.
A chance to see my children. All of them!
An opportunity to be together with family for a few hours of laughter, wine and food in the location where I first arrived back 35 years ago.
A chance to meet up with writers and friends.
A moment to think (about things other than how to revive a half-comatose student population.) A glimpse of life within walls other than those heavily fortified, in rooms with windows, a chance to sing into nothingness.
Time to eat as I wish, as much or as little as I choose.
The possiblity of long walks with my partner
Time to be with no constant scheduling.
A present of a day to venture forth into the unknown metropolis of Holon to visit the Holon Puppet Center.
To see puppets of sorts and forms that were made by those who love to make them. To see a school where learning the art of puppetry is celebrated.
To visit Design Museum in Holon. To walk through the visuals of Lea Gottlieb and her teams of creators. To feel intentional building design.
A time for one-on-one with my eldest daughter.
Today, as I sense these days winding down, I see the half-made puppets on my still unscrubbed floor – & my stacks of semi-inspected papers. I re-read the NLP course notes of techniques and skills that I long to apply to others; I shrug at semi-hatched plans to publish my haiku into a hard-copy chapbook.
I smile as I sit and meditate this morning. I know that half-whatever will always remain half as I constantly re-vamp my conception of ‘whole’. Half-way along a permanent moving sidewalk still brings enjoyment and chance for growth.