Offline, Off-phone, off book, off-pen for One Week

So I’m about to go on a Vipassana Retreat

First time.

You might have heard of Vipassana*  I had vaguely been introduced to it when every April during School Break and each summer during the vacation, a group of birkenstocked or barefoot walkers would appear on our school campus.

They were at a Vipassana Retreat, I was told. This apparently entailed walking in silence around the campus, around the library, the English room, the Science building and after a while, disappearing and then doing some more walking. I thought it odd that no one spoke. Then one day, as I was moving books from the Bomb Shelter to our new library, I noticed one of the silent walkers talking on his cellphone and periodically looking furtively upwards. I averted my gaze and then went back to staring when he wasn’t aware of my presence.

What kind of retreat thing was this? And how serious a Vipassana could this thing have been if it allowed this kind of blatant shirking of its principles.


Well, fast forward several years – perhaps 15? And here I am, signed up and waiting for my chance to silently walk. No birkenstocks, but I have acquired some comfortable Crocs and that, surely, is acceptable. And I will silently sit. And I will silently eat my meals. And in silence, I will pass my mornings, even with roommates. And I will surrender my phone and therefore live without internet or what’s app or facebook, or my haiku site.

This is all most unusual for me. I don’t have any buffalo hide Indian sandals or Indian cotton shirts that might actually stand me well for next week’s superhot weather predictions. I can only bring what I have, non-Asian tourist garb – jeans shorts and a few t-shirts.

I guess that’ll do. I don’t wear my hair in an upsweep. I don’t have dredlocks. I don’t wear a turban. But I do have natural hair colour and I am willing to go a week without make-up. Who will care if I have or don’t have accentuated brows? And I have scarves that can double as hats when the sun or wind requires such garb.

I have a new meditation pillow, ready to break in. All outer gear is ready.

meditation cushion

meditation cushion

What I must reckon with, however, and this is very difficult, is that for one week plus a day, I am not to write.  or read!

This is a killer situation. I’ve been known to give up perfectly useful courses for tapping into my creativity, when they demanded such gestures of non-attachment.

No phone. Ok. No computer. Fine!

But no write, no read?

This is, well, I’d like to know what you all think. Can it be done?

I wonder.

Wish me luck! If I’m still capable of doing so, I’ll update my experience next week.

*”Vipassana’ as a word comes from the Pali stem for ‘Clear Thinking’. Sounds good, no?

Meditation – solo style

For the past almost 3 years, I’ve been lucky enough to supplement my morning at-home meditation sessions with class relax sessions at school with pupils and teachers.

judih in dance of meditation

This has provided me with a kickstart in focus – so badly needed these days. As I interact more and more with others, I find my output of energy increasing. To keep a reserve, I need reminders to halt, to center on my breath. I enjoy the sound of the tibetan singing bowl, a call to come back to my body and my rhythm. So what happens when we go on a Passover break?

Where do I get my built-in reinforcement time when the routine changes?

This is a question that needs addressing. Whether flying overseas with the shifting clock or simply slipping out of regular, trusted schedules, the opportunities for meditation show up in different guises. One needs to recognize the need and grab the chance.

While I transition back to Israeli time, I find myself awake at all kinds of strange hours and then sleepy when I’d normally sit.

My heart races in the early a.m. and it dozes off mid-afternoon. So, when do I choose to meditate?

I’m beginning to see that anytime I think of it, I need to do it! simple! the more, the better.

Will this help me ease jet-lag? Perhaps. Will this help me cope with my fuzzy brain waves? It can’t hurt!

But while I’m away from classroom support systems, I can use my insight timer for spot sessions or listen to the guided meditations of Sharon Salzberg, for example, or any of the other meditations offered. I can chant to Snatam Kaur to keep focus on my voice. I can draw mandalas to engage my sense of colour.

Solo style allows for experimentation. It’s a gift. And it’s a pleasure.

What’s a little Stress?

Yes! I’m happy and grateful that I’ve incorporated meditation into my school time as well as into my morning at home.

Yes! I’m pleased that I’m more able to notice when I’m stressed and able to breathe out when I feel it!

and uh huh! I’m better off knowing than not.


when things start to pile up, and to do lists birth new lists

and other missions get added onto the already bulging lists


stress happens.

sleep is less available

and meditation time is more devoted to getting back to base line.

And so my question: what do you do?

Do you grab the time to dance? To let loose. Let your body respond to the music? Take me with you!

Do you take a short jog in open green fields? Let the breeze accompany you. Your body and breath together in a rhythmic beat? Send me a postcard!

Do you wander orange groves, smelling blossoms and fresh earth, contemplating the basic truth of how life includes doing nothing in particular but being? That’s my choice. That’s what I need more of. That’s what I’ll do today.

orange blossoms with thanks to the photographer
orange blossoms with thanks to the photographer

All this before tomorrow sneaks in to offer more of the  afore-mentioned to do lists (of which I shall not think)

Wishing us all a delicious present moment and a joyful spring.

May the orange blossoms call one and all to pause and drink in the beauty of the present moment.

Unconference, Sheffayim Nov 14/14

What is an Unconference?

Receiving an invitation asking if they are interested in contributing to a given theme, would be participants apply, get approval and then show up at a designated venue on the prescribed day. There, they select a time-slot, sign up and prepare to present their project for 25 minutes or so.

The white-board of time-slots and locations gets quickly filled up with topics and presenters.

Attendees gather round and fill out their own schedule according to what looks good.

A bell is sounded and it begins.

November 14, 2014 Unconference at Sheffayim Bank Hapoalim  8:30 – 2:30 pm. This year’s theme:  School as a way to close social gaps

We were told to get there early to sign up!

So it was that on November 13th, I travelled north to Petah Tikvah to stay the night. My daughter and her fiancee drove me up to Sheffayim and I checked in, got my name tag and waited for the go-ahead to pick a time slot and sign up.

I took a look at an already rapidly filling board. Apparently some speakers knew that they could ask via facebook to pre-register. I hadn’t known that. There’d been no such offer in my email correspondence with the organizers. Oh well. Next time.

I picked the ‘Iris’ room, first thing. Class Relax, my project, is a morning focus technique. What could be better, I thought,  than offering such refreshment at the beginning of what was going to be a stimulating day. I set up my Class Relax powerpoint. Got the sound and picture adjusted and waited for an audience. Who knew that Miznah, a member of the Knesset, was speaking at the same time. Oops. My naivete was showing. I thought that morning meditation would take precedence over anything else!

I gave my talk to two fine individuals, who enjoyed it, and introduced me to others who could possibly help me continue development.

Handheld-XylophoneAt the time signal, I packed up and headed out to my next chosen talk: Listening from the Heart.

This was the brainchild of Ronen Arbel and Efrat, who have taken the principle of Native American listening circles and developed games to promote attentive listening to others and oneself.

Listening from the Heart

Listening from the Heart

I then headed to Batiya, who is offering Dance and movement at Kiryat Ono. The current class is doing their Bagrut work on the subject. It was fabulous. Also done in a circle, one is attentive to the leader’s movements and variations. Attention to style, rhythm, intent and energy all make for a wonderful holistic movement experience.



At the sound, I headed into the main lobby  to join others taking a break to mingle, share, drink water and coffee.And then off to the next session.

The idea of the Unconference is to publicize one’s project and make connections with others doing similar work or able to offer support. I networked with possible future connections. The work is ahead of me.

What else did I attend?

The Technical School in Ofakim, which offers real education for students who simply don’t fit  into the normal academic stream. The school accepts students in Grade 9, offers them special tutoring to get them up to grade level and then they are ready in Grade 10 to begin a vocational stream: in Electronics, Mechanics, etc. working closely with industry such as the Airforce and other industries in the Ofakim area.  The school sees them to graduation with a diploma and then into life with skills and often job placement.

I attended Daniel Landau’s talk on Information and Mind, his foundation devoted to creating a better, more centered human being who is able to recognize the constant stream of information that floods us. We are always at the job, hooked in to our social and professional life via our cellphones. We forget to step away. His foundation is also supporting Class Relax in its goal to teach us to detach from past and future and build ourselves an anchor from within.

Fascinating. I hope to see you there next time!

Unconference, Tovanet in Education School as a way to close social gaps

Oct 3rd into Fall

Q. How much meditation does it take to turn on a brain?

A. Not much, but also a lot

Each day begins with the usual range of activities including the most important – morning sound meditation. I focus on posture, breathing and sound. I hold onto the image of a purple blue spot of light under my eyelids and I chant.

Result: better voice, better feeling, happiness.

Each school day I begin by conducting a meditation session with a class – each day a different class along with their homeroom teacher. I scan the room and decide which meditation to use – with or without music, with or without a video clip.

Result: better feeling, better connection with others, happier homeroom teacher.

There’s a pattern here. Meditation = better

There is a quantity required, no doubt, before all those amazing statistics roll into play – higher grade point average, better focus, stronger memory, reduced anxiety and stress, reduction in violence. There is such a quantity and it’s been measured.

But for now, i’m working on observation and accumulation of good feelings.

Meditation is better. It’s better when practiced in a group. It’s better when encouraged with positive feelings. It’s better than not having such a tool when such a tool is needed.

How much? I plan to find out.


Meanwhile during the Military “Operation”

Operation Protective Edge

not a war. no. an Operation.

Red alerts sound

take cover

Booms. and quiet

How do I spend my time?

I am doing intensive puppet therapy.

As I do during such times and also as I do in regular times, but then only on Saturdays,  the only days I have available for foam rubber, paint and glue.

How does it work?

When I work on making puppets, I am focused. Time is irrelevant. Life is good.

puppets await further body parts

puppets await further body parts

Do I like interruptions?

When I am asked to speak about the current not-War situation: how I am, if the kibbutz was targeted, how many red alerts we’ve had, I prefer not to go there.

Back to foam rubber shaping and the artistry of a paintbrush on an eyeball.

It all connects with contact cement.

Still waiting

Still waiting

What are the signs of happiness?

My paintbrushes stand drying beside my toothbrush. A sign of life!

Help! Therapy wanted

It’s officially the beginning of Summer break.

jill badonsky summer

I need:

a mini tour to India.

a quick 8 day retreat

a session in watercolour expression

a cool pool in the middle of the desert

a long-lost friend to revive my long-lost curiousity

a session of adrenaline-driven conversation

a walk into somewhere unknown and pleasantly accessorized with good surprises

a store that sells comfortable cotton clothes so that I can buy things to wear and forget that I’m wearing them

a room set up for sketching

an invisible secretary to remind me that I’m alive

a tibetan singing bowl that offers a call to silence without me having to lift the wooden pallet

a clue as to where my friends are

a message that my children are healthy

a kiss from my beloved

a free hand when I dye my new white shirt

an amazing find in a second hand shop

a promise of a free day every 2 days

a cool room when it’s hot

a favourite song to sing


So, what’s new – June 3/2014

It’s been almost a year that I’ve been involved in MindCET.


This has been a first-time pilot bringing educators together with entrepreneurs. We were offered lectures and guidance and hands-on seminars in how to build a start-up, how to think creatively, how to present. We were given workshops in how to present our idea and hone it to a form where people understood what we were getting at. We were drilled in how to hone our idea until it became feasible enough to form a site or app.

I started the year with my idea of building a meditation app – something that would know (via handheld phone) when i needed to time-out for a breathing session. the app would warn me and then offer me tactile methods to take that all important break.

That idea warped into a cocoon while I was asked to work with another educator who was building an app for interactive Museum visits. I loved the idea and we worked with imaginative advisers and UX designers.

Till she shrugged off the idea.

I went back to re-think my Meditation app.

Slowly it passed into the idea of a site where I could offer meditations.

Now it has become interactive and in a few weeks I’ll be presenting it in a big Demo Day called MindBlitz!


I’ll be practising my presentation, remembering my words and the statistics to back up my interest.

That’s what’s been going on with that.

I’ve been teaching puppetry to a group of 8th and 9th graders who are talented in various ways. They are very different from last year’s group who worked well together and fed each other’s differences within the framework of the puppet stage.

This year, I have individuals who have expressed themselves visually through their puppets.


I’ve been running the Partnership 2gether project between Albany and our school in the Western Negev. These students have met via Google Hang-out since the fall and have worked on various projects including mailing one another gifts, and drawings, and ID cards. They’ve participated in online bulletin boards like and google chats. They’ve played online Charades. But the big fail was a lack of independent chats – whether facebook or google


Most of the American kids were not digitally connected – perhaps because of their age.

Will the project continue next year? I hope so! I want to see Dorit my partner in the project!

End of school year means end of teaching 4 classes as well.

I still have plans – to complete my haiku book

to finish my series of puppets which I’ve been working on this entire year – usually on Saturdays and school holidays.

To visit Toronto in the summer.

To finish a pilot for my Meditation site for implementation in September.

and so, this is nowtherapy – a brief review of my year – it’s been a while since I’ve had time for a review.

nothing deep here – but a skate-through – and a smile

a death and memory collage

There had been rumours

I’d heard that M had died. At such a relatively young age, death could only have been from disease – M never would’ve been in an accident. It’s not conceivable.

I looked it up, google, facebook and sure enough. Over a year ago, M passed away from lung cancer. In pain but with his family’s support.

He had a family – a few from a few marriages.

Gone but not forgotten. He had been an incredibly paranoid man, highly intelligent, absolutely neurotic. He had the power to cause others to try to make him content, just because his cute smile of delight was so much nicer than his manic rants and attacks if he’d believed that he’d been slighted.

He once offered to teach me how to control others, how to wow them with my pointed cleverness. How to read behind gestures, how to use my findings to manipulate.

An offer that I was dubious about accepting, but still found interesting enough to watch him in action.

I was malleable in those days. I was interested in observing dynamics between sources of power and receivers of its vibrations.

Does that sound cult-ish? Perhaps I was interested in the concept of cult: them vs us

I’d been in a Gurdjieff group in Toronto. I’d seen it in various venues and had experienced the exercises of self-observation and self-remembrance.  I had listened to its leaders and looked at the irony of wrong-doing together with the mantle of being better than.

M was wearing that cloak. His brand of ‘better than’ was a large brand and he wore it with the help of many who chose to surround him.  That group changed over the years but for a while I was amongst them. I did what I could to smooth his day, although I never knew when his bloodshot non-blinking gaze would fall upon me. I never knew what would set off a tirade of psychological analysis from which there was no escape until I’d admit his points or until we all fell down near dawn.

Funny how he named his daughter ‘dawn’ – perhaps he knew that time to be special – to allow for a new way of thinking when the old way was no longer viable.


I now and for some time have been waking up at dawn.

It’s a delicious free zone – no judgment, no demand.

Back in the day when i lived with M and the rest of the gang, dawn was the time when they were sleeping and I was awake in a large house, cool tiled floors, daylight not quite ready to stream in.

I would drink a morning cup of coffee and head up onto the roof to exercise with the first rays of light.

Working my body parts became my daily ritual.

M taught me how to separate between him and me: between what I needed to do to find space for myself and what I needed to do for the collective.

Out of that, I wrote ‘Getting There’ – my own monologue done in dance but more importantly offering me the therapy of finding out what running towards meant to me.

His obsessive compulsive need for cleanliness taught me how to keep outer appearances even when the inner mind was a million miles away from the accepted order.

From that I learned how to maintain spaces – my puppetry workshop, my batik workshop, my voice workshop.

I learned how to explore being different while keeping a framework of ‘same’.

I learned that I loved fabric and dying and creating. I learned that I could only sit still so long before falling into  a daze.

When I knew him, I learned that expression is a large part of joy – no matter what the price.

He’s dead now. He’s left his imprint on a few people.

I guess I’m one.


judih Oct 2013

judih Oct 2013